Overbearing families!!?

Since Its the holiday season obviously that can bring up ....unwanted feuds in families. I have that problem. I'm not normal tho. I <3 my In- laws, and very close to loath my own family. My family never actually invites me to holidays... they just complain over and over when I don't show T-T Annoying. My In- laws are supper sweet and give me PLENTY of notice. My question is : How the Hell do I appease my family if they never invite me to anything and (reguardless is I ever hear it from someone else) compla...no freaking chew me out when I don't come?!!