Can someone help me escape?

I am incarcerated down in Walton prison and I want to escape to see my little boy. He is now six years old and if he is anything luike the other twelve then he should be starting to talk about now. I do not want to miss his first words as I've never missed the others and it is a good old laugh. My eldests first word was, 'schlong'. A rope ladder and grapple hook are useful.